the beach is calling me. about this time last year, i was drifting in the warm atlantic ocean under a purple, glistening sunset. it was heaven on earth, my paradise.

time stood still, the silence was so calming, so soothing. nothing stood between me and my thoughts, as i floated i was totally in sync with myself.

i need some serious me time. i have to get back to that place. i have to take better care of myself. time to really find how to get to that place whenever i need and want too.

{living everyday with the best intentions}

she asked me, "are you ready for paradise?" given our conversation, we were discussing illnesses that just appear one day as random symptoms that are not familiar to us that progress until one day we are told, and possibly never properly diagnosed, that we have a specific illness, disease, condition that we will have to learn how to live with in order to survive. life throws curve balls all the time. some of us are fortunate to struggle.

that is right, you did not read that incorrectly, some of us are fortunate to struggle. we go through life, living through experiences that hurt us and make us wonder what god's intentions are for us, for life. we may get sick, and i mean really sick as in life threatening, we may lose loved ones, we may live in poverty, we may be faced with all types of obstacles. i am not exempt. i have found myself in several different life struggles, all life threatening, all fighting me for my survival.

when i was a little younger, i would wonder why god was putting me through such situations. i would debate god constantly, searching for meaning. and than i grew up. i learned that my level of comprehension would never allow me to understand why god does what god does. god's plan, greater and more complex than any man could imagine, is perfect. the hereafter will be so much better than anything we have ever seen, heard, tasted, experienced. so, when you go through things, reflect. i do not think it is wrong to question god, as long as you never stop trusting and living for god. just reflect.

if i had never gone through any of the experiences that i have been through and will probably go through, i do not know if i would be ready for paradise. i would, more than likely, be convinced that i was happier here and that my happiness now was way more fulfilling than anything god had prepared for me later. but, i am ready for paradise. i have experienced great lows and great highs, but i know that paradise is greater than anything that the here and now has to offer.

so, my response was, " yes, i cannot wait." and she replied, "me either."

{living everyday with the best intentions}